Day 13: An Apology

Today's prompt:

 Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.

Okay I feel like I say this every time....but really this one is the hardest one yet.  I have ZERO ideas in terms of what I could apologize for.  I am probably just really bad at apologizing because I know I'm really bad for saying that I'm wrong...

But when I first started thinking about the prompt my favorite movie came to mind---You've Got Mail.  After Kathleen meets Joe, she tells him that she meet a "bottom dweller" (which has to be said really slow and deliberate)...I feel like that relates to this apology thing.

Joe Fox: [writing to "Shopgirl"] Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and moving on, you zing them. "Hello, it's Mr Nasty." I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about. 
Kathleen Kelly: [writing to "NY152"] No, I know what you mean, and I'm completely jealous! What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said. What should I have said, for example, to a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existence? 
[stops and thinks] 
Kathleen Kelly: [writing] Nothing. Even now, days later, I can't figure it out. 
Joe Fox: [writing] Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you? And then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time, and we'd both be happy. But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows. 

Sometimes we end up just saying whatever is on our minds...apologies should follow.  Ironically...she ends up being able to speak her mind to Joe in person later and then later writes:

Kathleen Kelly: [writing to "NY152"] I've been thinking about you. Last night I went to meet you, and you weren't there. I wish I knew why. I felt so foolish. And as I waited, someone else showed up: a man who has made my professional life a misery. And an amazing thing happened. I was able, for the first time in my life to say the exact thing I wanted to say at the exact moment I wanted to say it. And, of course, afterwards, I felt terrible, just as you said I would. I was cruel, and I'm never cruel. And even though I can hardly believe what I said mattered to this man - to him, I am just a bug to be crushed - but what if it did? No matter what he's done to me, there is no excuse for my behavior. Anyway, I so wanted to talk to you. I hope you have a good reason for not being there last night. You don't seem like the kind of person that would do something like that. The odd thing about this form of communication is you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many... somethings. So, thanks. 

 So even though it is nice to get what we want to off our chest...it isn't great at the same time.  So once again You've Got Mail has taught us a life lesson ;)

Thank you bleubirddiary.blogspot.com 

Be Positive!

Today is going to be a rambling post...I'm sorry if these aren't the favorites...but I had an interesting experience today.  And to a certain extent it is something that I wonder if happens to a lot of teachers.  I ran into an old friend from work.  She and I knew each other about six months or so before she was let go by the company.  She did not and still does not agree with a lot of the decisions the company made. She was surprised to hear that I was still working for them, because of her negative feelings about it.  I was finally able to pull away from the conversation and get my grocery shopping done, but her words still bothered me.  And I have been thinking about it ever since...

People talk about how this and that needs to change in education. But I really think that of the biggest things that needs to change in education is the attitude of people about it.  We can't go beating up and putting  everyone down all the time--whether we agree on the decisions or not.  First of it is not healthy and second of all it is very toxic.  I felt just very yucky and disturbed by the whole conversation--and it is just not productive.

Sometimes it is hard to take the emotions out of the decisions that educators need to make, but I think that we need to say our piece and then deal with the problem rationally.  Because negativity, I think, will ruin some great teachers' careers.  I know for me the last few months with everything changing around me in the field, I have thought hard about leaving the field.  But I love teaching in my classroom, independent of everyone else, and honestly I don't know what I would do instead.

So I guess I send this cosmic thought out into the void....but I would challenge all of us to be a little bit more positive today, tomorrow, and the next day after that--because we sure need it around here.

I love daisies!! They are the happiest flower
Thank you www.smileyfaces.org for the pic

P.S. I made two "You've Got Mail" references...brownie points to who figures them out.

A Tribute to My Favorite Movie--You've Got Mail

I love this movie.  It is like my all-time favorite movie.  I can pretty much quote the thing in my sleep.  If I am having trouble sleeping sometimes I will start this movie in my head...I usually don't get very far because I fall asleep....but you get the picture about how well I know this movie.  I was thinking about it tonight because of this particularly favorite quote of mine...

People are always telling you that change is a good thing.  But all they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all has happened.  My store is closing this week.  I own a store, did I ever tell you that?  It's a lovely store, and in a week it will be something really depressing, like a Baby Gap.  Soon, it'll just be a memory.  In fact, someone, some foolish person, will probably think it's a tribute to this city, the way it keeps changing on you, the way you can never count on it, or something.  I know because that's the sort of thing I'm always say. But the truth is....I'm heartbroken. I feel as if a part of me has died, and my mother has died all over again, and no one can ever make it right.

I have been through a lot of changes in 2012...the last half of that year was one big huge whirlwind and I feel like I am still in that whirlwind.  Some people look at me and say that it is okay, you will get through it--because there is nothing else that they can say.  And I look at the time before that change and it is really depressing what it has turned in.  And a part of me really seems to have died...

I told myself when I started this 365 project that this blog wouldn't become one big pity-party and so far this week alone it has turned into a little bit of one and I am sorry.  I don't want people to think that I need anything....as another one of my favorite quotes from this movie goes: I don't want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void.  So...good night dear void.

P.S. This is my favorite funnier line in this movie...because I love how you can get a sense of self from making a decision like that--because it is SO true!